


Eight First Kisses

by ShayneyL



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: AU, Episode: s01e01 Caretaker, Episode: s02e05 Non Sequitur, Episode: s02e10 Fury, Episode: s04e24 Demon, Episode: s06e14 Memorial, Episode: s07e08 Nightingale, Infidelity, M/M, Mirror Universe (Star Trek), Pining, Prompt Fic, Suicidal Thoughts, Writer's Month 2020, s05e13 Gravity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:53:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25793941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShayneyL/pseuds/ShayneyL
Summary: Eight first kisses between Harry Kim and Tom Paris, from eight different timelines.
Relationships: Harry Kim/Tom Paris
Comments: 17
Kudos: 16
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	1. Through a Mirror, Darkly

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Quanta: Six Harry Kim/Tom Paris Kisses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16179992) by [phinnia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phinnia/pseuds/phinnia). 



> Writer's Month 2020, Day 8. The prompt is "eight."
> 
> Each chapter is a different timeline, unconnected to the others. So the tags/warnings may apply to only one chapter. I will try to indicate in the chapter notes which warnings apply where.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This timeline is the Mirror "Caretaker."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-Con/Dubious Consent, because Mirror Universe.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Harry Kim looked around at the surface of Ocampa, and evaluated his options. His parents had sacrificed everything to get him a spot on the rebel ship _Voyager_ , and the very first week, they'd been thrown across the galaxy, and he had somehow been pulled off the ship, subjected to painful experiments, then dumped here.

The surface of Ocampa was not habitable. It was harsh desert, with no water, no plants, no life. The people of the planet lived underground. He knew this, because he had somehow ended up in their city. They did not seem surprised, but nor were they welcoming. They'd escorted him to the surface and forced him out.

Whoever had kidnapped him hadn't even left him his clothing. He was naked, under the roasting sun. He knew better than to expect Janeway to come to his rescue. He was the newest crew member, and disposable. His choices seemed to be to stay here and die quickly, or head for the ruins in the distance, and perhaps find shade. That would only prolong the agony; with no water, he would not survive long, shade or no.

But the drive to live was strong, and he started walking toward the ruins. The sand was unpleasantly hot, and the occasional sharp rock stabbed his feet. Still, he kept going…until the air shimmered in front of him, much closer than the heat shimmer in the distance. It was the transporter, he realized.

A man materialized in front of him. Slowly, Harry made out who it was. Tom Paris, from _Voyager_. An attractive, dangerous man, who was rumored to have some kind of connection with the Captain.

"It is you," Paris said. "I wasn't sure, since you aren't wearing a combadge." He raised his brows, looking Harry up and down. "Or anything else."

Harry remembered he was naked. There was nothing he could do about it, so he straightened and raised his chin, defiant. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Rescuing you," Paris said, then stepped forward, grabbed Harry, and kissed him. His mouth seemed hotter than the sun, his tongue tracing Harry's lips, then pushing inside.

When they parted, Paris smiled at him, lust and possessiveness in his cruel, beautiful features. "You'll do," he said.

Harry was breathless and a little dizzy, and not just because of the heat. "I can't believe the Captain sent you for me." He had fully expected to be abandoned here.

"She didn't. I talked her into it. I owe her one, which means you owe me one." He tapped his combadge. " _Voyager_ , two to beam up."

Harry knew well how Tom would expect to be repaid. He shrugged as the transporter beam took him. It was better than dying of thirst on this accursed planet.


	2. Non Sequitur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A missing scene from "Non Sequitur," the timeline that never was and never will be again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implied/canonical character death, because of what happened to the alternate Tom in the aired episode.

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Tom didn't know what it was about Harry. Something about him made call his contacts at Starfleet, even his father, to try and find out who he was, what he was doing, where he was going. Made him care, when he hadn't really cared about anything or anyone in years. Something more than the gorgeous, dark eyes, now sparkling with excitement, or the smile that transformed his face, and nearly made Tom's heart stop when it was directed at him.

"Main complex, level six, subsection forty seven," Harry said, looking at Tom with…something Tom hadn't seen in a very long time. Trust.

"I can beam us in," Tom said. "But we'll only have a few minutes before Security starts kicking down the door."

"Let's do it," Harry said. Then he put a hand on Tom's shoulder, pulling him down for a kiss. A sweet, wonderful kiss. God, those lush, beautiful lips felt even better than they looked.

When it ended, Tom stared at Harry in shock, not sure what it meant. "For luck," Harry said, flashing that smile again. "We're going to need it."

Tom knew he was grinning like a complete fool, but he couldn't help it. He knew then he would die for this man, without a second thought. Life without Harry in it wasn't worth living.


	3. New Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it had been Tom and Harry instead of Janeway and Chakotay in "Resolutions"...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings apply to this chapter.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Harry knelt in their small garden patch, pulling weeds from around the tomatoes. He didn't even like tomatoes. But Tom wanted tomato soup, so they'd planted four rows. If things went well, they were going to have a lot of tomatoes. Probably. Neither Harry nor Tom had any idea how many tomatoes it took to make a bowl of soup.

Truth to tell, he didn't mind working in the garden. It was soothing, and a good contrast with the labwork he did the rest of the time. More productive, too.

Nothing he tried was working. He could not find a cure for the disease that forced _Voyager_ to abandon them here. They would be marooned here forever.

"Harry!" Tom called from the house. "Lunch time."

Harry got up, dusted off his clothing, and headed to their small shelter. Tom had taken over the cooking duties, and had proved to be a surprisingly good cook.

"Delicious," Harry said, digging into the ramufta and salad. "Thanks for doing this. I really hate cooking."

"No problem. I like cooking. I couldn't do it much on _Voyager_ because Neelix is a little…possessive."

That he was. The little Talaxian didn't like other people messing around in his kitchen. Except for Kes. Harry felt sad, realizing he would probably never see Neelix or Kes again.

"Harry? You okay?"

He realized he'd zoned out on Tom. "Sorry, just thinking." He'd reached the end of the line with his research. He just didn't know what else to do. Unless… "Tom, let me take a blood sample from you after lunch." He'd been working using only his own samples. Maybe, even if he couldn't cure himself, he could cure Tom.

Tom seemed reluctant. "Harry, how long are you going to beat your head against this wall? This is our life now."

"No. There has to be a solution."

"The solution is to accept our situation. Sometimes life doesn't turn out how you hoped, no matter how hard you try. I should know."

Stranded here for the rest of his life? Never get home? He couldn't accept it, he just couldn't. He got up, pacing the small shelter. "Look, Tom," he said, trying to bargain. "Give me a blood sample, if that leads nowhere, I'll give up trying. I promise."

Tom looked at him for a long moment. He seemed somehow resigned. "All right, Harry. But I'm going to hold you to your promise."

Harry got a specimen container, and they moved to the doorway, where the light was better. He pressed the container to the inside of Tom's elbow, where it would painlessly take a blood sample. It beeped when it was done, and Harry scanned it the medical tricorder, to make sure he had enough.

Odd. There didn't seem to be any of the virus in Tom's blood. "Something's wrong." He turned the tricorder on Tom. Same results. "You're clear. No sign of the virus," Harry said in disbelief. He was both sad and elated. He wasn't sure how it happened, but Tom could leave this planet. It meant he would be alone here, but Tom could rejoin _Voyager_. "Tom, you don't have to stay here. Take the shuttlecraft. You'll be able to catch up with _Voyager_ , or get within hailing distance at least."

Tom just stood there. He didn't seem surprised, or particularly happy. "Go!" Harry said. _Voyager_ was getting farther away with every passing second.

"No," Tom said. "I'm not going to do that."

"You're not going to…what…" A slow suspicion was rising in Harry. "You already knew this. That's why you never wanted to give me blood samples before."

"Yeah, Harry, I did." Tom ran a hand over his mouth. "I never had the virus. I thought maybe I'd picked it up after all these weeks, but I guess not."

"You _want_ to be infected?" Harry was baffled.

"Yes…no… Harry, I didn't want you to be alone."

He didn't understand at first, and then he did. He was so shocked he couldn't speak.

Tom frowned. "You all right?" He put his hands on Harry's shoulders, to steady him, and Harry realized he was swaying on his feet.

"I just can't believe you…Tom…"

"You were dying, Harry. They had to put you in a stasis unit. They beamed it down to the planet because they weren't sure the virus wouldn't escape the unit and spread to the rest of the crew. That's when the Doctor realized the virus was neutralized if you stayed on the planet."

Harry knew this part. But he'd assumed Tom had been in a similar unit. There had been no sign of another unit when he awoke, just Tom, but Tom was claustrophobic, and hated stasis units. He thought Tom had woken early, and his stasis unit had already been beamed back up to _Voyager_ to be sterilized and recycled.

"The Captain was in an impossible position," Tom said. "Let you die, leave you on the planet to live out the rest of your days alone, or try to keep you in stasis and hope the virus didn't infect the entire crew."

"You volunteered to be stranded with me, so I wouldn't be alone?" Tom was crazy. Why would he do that?

"Yeah," Tom said. "The Captain wasn't too keen on the idea, but I reminded her that she'd offered to let us leave the ship if we wanted to." He shrugged. "I pointed out that it was better than the other options."

"For me maybe, but not for you."

"For me, too," Tom said.

"Why?"

"This is why." Tom pulled Harry close, and kissed him, gently at first, then seeking, exploring, probing, with flashes of tongue and teeth, filling Harry with irresistible heat. He wanted it to go on forever, but...

"This is Captain Janeway. Harry, Tom, are you there?"

It took a long moment for the voice to penetrate. Harry pulled away. Tom followed, trying to kiss him again. Harry pushed him away. "Did you hear that?"

"Tom? Harry? Can you hear me?"

They'd stopped wearing their combadges weeks ago. Harry looked around the small shelter, trying to remember where he'd left his. There, on the shelf. He picked it up. "Yes, Captain, we're here."

"Good news, Harry," Janeway said. "We have a cure, thanks to the Vidiians. We'll be in orbit in about 30 hours. Pack up anything salvageable and prepare to return to _Voyager_."

"Yes, Captain!"

"Janeway out."

Harry and Tom looked at each other. "I guess we'll never harvest our crop and find out what fresh tomato soup tastes like," Tom said.

"We'll have other things to taste." Harry leaned in to kiss Tom again. The packing could wait.


	4. Demon Eden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tom and Harry of the Demon planet. Well, one pair of them, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings apply to this chapter.

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Tom and Harry watched the big gray ship, released, rise off the surface and disappear into the clouds. There were now over a hundred individuals on the planet, with more being made all the time, copies of copies of copies. But they were the first. The first two copies made.

Harry turned to Tom, his dark hair blowing in the breeze that the original Harry would have found radioactive and unbreathable. A memory crossed Tom's mind, and he leaned over and pressed his lips to Harry's. "It's called a kiss," he explained, pulling back. "Tom always wanted to do that to Harry." Meaning the original Tom and Harry, now gone with _Voyager_.

"A pleasant sensation," Harry said. He ran his fingers over his lips. "Harry wanted to do it, too." They kissed again. It was longer this time, with Harry's tongue slipping out to caress Tom's lips and push inside. Tom moaned softly, allowing the invasion, then returning it. Harry sucked at Tom's lips, then gently bit at them, and Tom found himself trying to pour himself into Harry…

"Stop," Harry said. "You're losing your shape."

Tom realized that he was reverting back into silver blood, and took a moment to reassemble himself. "Better?"

"Let's try it again," Harry said. "Try to stay solid." They kissed again, slow and deep.

It was hard to keep from just melting into each other, but practice made perfect.


	5. Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Harry in the gravity well with Tom, instead of Tuvok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The infidelity tag applies to this chapter.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Harry was going over their supplies, which were inadequate and rapidly dwindling. He really didn't care for sautéed spiders, despite Tom's claims that they were just like crab, but it appeared he would be eating a lot of them.

Suddenly someone pushed him back against the shuttle bulkhead. Tom. "Hey…" Harry's words were cut off as Tom kissed him, deep and hard. He was so startled he couldn't react until Tom pulled slightly away.

"What the…?"

"Go with it, Harry," Tom whispered. "Please."

"What about B'Elanna?" Harry whispered back.

"I'm doing this for B'Elanna." He kissed Harry again.

Harry went along with it, trusting Tom enough to believe he had a reason. When they parted for air again, Tom leaned forward, brushing his lips over Harry's ear, making Harry shiver.

"Noss kissed me," Tom said softly. "B'Elanna would kill her if she found out."

"So why are we kissing?"

"Noss won't take no for answer. If she sees us kissing, she might get the hint."

"Why is kissing me better than kissing Noss?"

"It just is." A shadow crossed the doorway, and he heard footsteps. It was Noss. Tom leaned in for another kiss. Harry responded, putting his all into it for their audience.

Noss stared, stomped her foot, and fled. Harry felt a little bad about it. He pushed Tom away. "She's gone."

"Yeah, I know," Tom said. He pulled Harry close and began kissing him again. He was a very good kisser. Harry thought about B'Elanna, but not for long. He leaned into the kiss, running his hands through Tom's hair. _Voyager_ had probably left weeks ago. If they were stranded here forever, at least he had this.


	6. Memorial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Harry deal with the fallout from "Memorial." This might be a sequel to ["Dreams."](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20222986)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some emotional infidelity in this chapter.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"I'm staying with you tonight, Harry." Tom was prepared for resistance, but Harry didn't object.

They entered Harry's quarters. Tom expected to sleep on Harry's couch, but to his surprise, Harry said, "We can share the bed."

He had a feeling Harry was afraid to be alone, so he agreed, and they climbed into Harry's bed together. And when Harry cuddled up against him, he put his arms around him and pulled him close. And when Harry pressed a soft kiss to his lips, he couldn't help kissing back.

Something suddenly fell into place. The dreams suddenly made sense. "We were lovers," Tom said.

"What?"

"The memories we got…they're not random. Each of us got the memories of someone similar to ourselves."

"You could be right," Harry mused. "Commander Chakotay got the memories of one of the commanders of the mission. Neelix got the memories of someone who cared for the children."

"And you got the memories of a young, inexperienced soldier. I got the memories of an older soldier who was your lover."

Harry was silent a long moment. "Because we're such close friends, right?"

_No. Because I love you. I always have_. But then he remembered B'Elanna, and said, "Yeah, because we're such close friends."


	7. Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The original "Fury" timeline, if young Kes hadn't convinced old Kes that _Voyager_ wasn't responsible for her suffering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major character death, because of what happened on-screen in "Fury," and some mild suicidal thoughts.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

_Voyager_ was a wreck. People were running around, talking urgently about dilithium and energy reserves and plasma conduits. The ship needed massive repairs.

But none of that mattered to Tom. B'Elanna was dead. Whatever Kes had done to her could not be repaired. Kes was dead, too, killed by Captain Janeway to save _Voyager_.

Everyone was working double shifts, but they left Tom alone. Grief was his full-time job now.

Tom knew the Doctor had him on suicide watch. No danger of that. Suicide was just too much effort. Harry checked in on him several times a day, tried to get him to eat, telling him what was going on with the ship. Tom barely heard him.

The door signal sounded. Probably Harry again. Tom didn't bother to answer, and the door eventually slid open. Yup, Harry again. With a tray. "Hi, Tom. Lunch is served."

Tom didn't get up from where he was slumped on the couch. Harry came and sat next to him, putting the tray on the coffee table.

"The Doctor is going to put you on forcible nutritional supplements if you don't start eating more," Harry said.

Tom looked at the tray. Grilled cheese sandwich, and a mug of tomato soup. Replicated, because Neelix didn't cook food like this.

"Would you rather have peanut butter and jelly or something?" Harry said. "I'll get it for you."

Tom looked at Harry, really looked at him, for the first time since B'Elanna died. He didn't look good. His uniform was dirty and torn, his hair was disheveled, there were smudges of grease on his face. And he looked…worn. Worn thin with work and grief.

Harry was must be working himself to a frazzle, as Chief of Ops and one of _Voyager_ 's best engineers. Maybe the best, now that… He suddenly remembered that Harry had been one of B'Elanna's closest friends, one of the few people she trusted for a long time. That she called him cute nicknames, and let him use nicknames for her, which she didn't let even Tom do. That Harry must be crushed by her loss, too.

"Harry…are you okay?"

Harry blinked, obviously surprised by the question. "Sure," he said. "Very busy, but I like keeping busy. Less time to think about…things."

That was the usual way Harry handled it, Tom had noticed. If he was upset, he worked. Sometimes even when the Captain ordered him to rest. Of course, _Voyager_ desperately needed all hands right now. Tom suddenly felt guilty for doing nothing but sit in his quarters. Maybe it would help if he went back to work. There was no piloting to be done now, but he could help out in sickbay, and he knew enough about engineering that he could pitch in on the repairs.

"Eat, before it gets cold," Harry said.

Tom realized Harry must be using his own replicator rations to make meals for him. Meals he barely touched. Given _Voyager_ 's current situation, he suspected this was a bigger sacrifice than usual. Rations were typically cut when damage was so severe, so the replicators could be used to make replacement parts.

He picked up the mug of soup, and took a sip. It was delicious. Perfect. And then he remembered that it was perfect because B'Elanna fixed the replicator system so it made tomato soup just the way he liked it. He started crying, and couldn't stop.

Harry gently took the mug from his hand, put it down, and took Tom into his arms. Tom clung to him, sobbing until the gold uniform was damp. Harry cradled him, rubbing his back and making soft, soothing noises.

Eventually, the tears trailed off, and Tom found himself with his mouth against Harry's neck. He trailed his lips along Harry's jaw, found his mouth, and kissed it. Harry didn't push him away, nor did he respond. When Tom tried to deepen the kiss, he gently pulled away. "Tom, you don't want to do this."

"Yes, I do. Please, Harry, make me forget her."

"No one can do that."

"We could try," Tom muttered.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now," Harry said. "If you're still interested in a year or so, let me know."

Tom gave him a sharp look, not sure if he was joking or not.

"Drink your soup," Harry said. Tom did.


	8. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nightingale" was originally supposed to end with Harry Kim leaving _Voyager_ permanently. If he actually had...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some implied emotional infidelity in this chapter.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Tom couldn't believe it. Harry was leaving. For good. Harry, the one who most wanted to get home. How could Harry leave _Voyager_? Leave him?

He tracked Harry down in the hall by the turbolift. "Harry, you can't leave."

"The Captain has said I can go," Harry said. "My commitment to Starfleet was fulfilled years ago."

"Take me with you!" Tom blurted.

Harry rolled his eyes. "You're married, Tom, remember? Unless B'Elanna's coming, too, you have to stay here."

"Wait a minute. I know what this is about."

"You do?"

"Sure. You've got a girl on that ship you don't want me to know about."

"There's no girl. If there was, I would tell you."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know how else to this say this, so I'll just say it. You've always been Captain Proton, I have always been Buster Kincaid. It's my turn this time."

It was finally sinking in. Harry was really leaving. Tom was losing his sidekick and best friend…forever. "I'll walk you to the transporter room," Tom said, resigned.

Harry had said goodbye to most of the crew this morning, in the mess hall. Neelix was waiting in the transporter room with a packed lunch that probably had too much leola root, and Seven was manning the transporter console.

"Goodbye, Harry," Tom said. He gave Harry a hug, as Harry had hugged him when he had left _Voyager_ on that secret mission so long ago. Then took it a step further and kissed Harry's soft, sensual lips. _If you won't take me with you, take my love for you_. "Something to remember me by," he said, then stepped back. Harry smiled slightly, then disappeared as the transporter took him.


End file.
